I used to dream about all my awesome things that I was going to accomplish in my life and all… Read more I invented a hoverboard! But let me tell you about the time Beyonce and I were in the same stadium!
About a week ago, I had to work up an immense amount of courage because I had offered to do… Read more Cars (is that how you spell it?)
So lately I’ve been trying to get in shape because I have no life and no job. I’m pretty sure… Read more Working out.
You’d think after 20 something years, you’d really know yourself well. Ideally, you should not get away with lying to… Read more Thou shalt not lie…except to thyself
Today I received a call from a drunk telemarketer. I realized he was drunk pretty quickly, but it took me… Read more How to scare a paranoid person
Does anyone ever actually have as much fun as it looks like they’re having in the photos on Facebook? I… Read more A smattering of unrelated questions.
If you’ve ever heard the expression “as red as a tomato,” you now have a clear picture of what I… Read more Exercising
Today, I am feeling overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by laziness, overwhelmed by air conditioning, overwhelmed by how many diets people have written… Read more The initiation game
I’m sick of dog owners pretending like their dog is a shining light that illuminates the lives of everyone. Don’t… Read more Pet Pet Peeves (not a typo, just a bad pun)
Highlights of the Boston Marathon: 1. The sign that said “If Trump can run, so can you.” 2. The sorority… Read more This one time, I went to the Boston Marathon