Does anyone ever actually have as much fun as it looks like they’re having in the photos on Facebook? I mean, honestly, is that drink you just paid $17 dollars for REALLY make you that happy?
Does anyone ever do as much work “tomorrow” as they envision?
Where do you put the clothes that aren’t really clean but aren’t really dirty?
Why do people who choose to work in silent only parts of the library still listen to music REALLY FUCKING LOUDLY?
Does anybody else look at friends’ friends on Facebook and wonder why you and those people have weird mutual friends?
How come someone who tweets witty and hilarious thoughts gets a couple hundred retweets and Taylor Swift bakes average looking cookies and gets 4 million likes? Come on, people, you don’t even get to EAT the cookies!!
How come Pandora plays the same 5 songs over and over when there are still thousands (millions?) of artists who would love to be heard? (This means my relationship with Pandora is: *Pandora plays song.* *I love it* *Pandora plays song again* *okay, still in love* *Pandora plays song at least twice every time I listen for two weeks* *I thumbs down the song* *Pandora plays another song…* etc.)
Why is Applebee’s offering “carside take out service”? I mean, I’m not trying to criticize your business model, Applebee’s, but I think you may suddenly experience a loss in waiters due to kidnapping.